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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?